If we do what men do, talk like men talk, dress like men dress, and in nearly every way live our lives as men live, how do we expect to be treated as special...as feminine...as unique...as women?
"...male and female, He created them..." (Genesis 1:27)
It was a "movement" to get us the rights we have now in the United States, and I have noticed a "stirring" toward getting back to "the way things used to be". When women once had no right to vote, they also were under the spiritual headship and covering of their husbands. He voted as the head of the household. I'm not suggesting that voting rights be stripped, necessarily, but let's get back to the God-ordained order in our homes!
The group who fought for the rights we now have were fighting against the high calling that the Lord has given to us as women! It is what we were made to do; it is who we were made to be!
I'm currently reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss' book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. It is an incredible book to walk us through so many of the lies specifically targeting women. And we have, sadly, believed so many of them!
It is a lie to believe that a career is more valuable to the Lord than fulfilling our roles as wife, mother, and homemaker. It is a lie to believe that we can spend the majority and the best of our time and energy away from our husbands, our children, and our homes, and still be able to give our best to our top priorities!
Is it enough to simply DO the tasks needing to be done at home, such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry? Is it all about the tasks? Or is it about aligning our wants with the Lord's wants and being "doers of [that] word"? Do we really need to make HOME our domain?
Homemaker = the one who makes a house a home!
Personally, I have always wanted to be at home. When I was a young girl, I dreamed of marrying a rich man, and having all the money to do what I wanted, and hiring help for the rest. As I got older, my dream of being home continued, but only because it would be a reward for creating an additional income to support my doing so. Then I found Titus 2:4-5, which tells me that God's priority list for me centers around my home and family.
4 that they admonish the young women to love
their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet,
chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
I've often shared with groups of women that if I had just one "do-over" in my life, of all the many things I could choose to do differently, the thing I would change would be to remain at home as a wife before becoming a stay-at-home-mom. The reasons are too many to list, so I'll give you the top two:
1) It would have been so much easier to learn to cook, clean, manage my time,
and all the tasks that I do now, if I could have learned them before also having
three children to love, teach, and discipline. I could have learned more quickly!
Instead, it took me YEARS, because I had three children before I ever really started
learning how to do this "job"!
2) The second, and bigger, reason is because I had to put my husband second....
behind a boss. I was forced to submit to a boss over submitting to my own husband.
Yes, as believers, we are required to submit to any authority the Lord places over us,
such as a King, but to choose to NOT do what my husband needed me to do in order
to keep a boss happy placed me out of submission to my husband. I didn't see it back then,
but I see now how much more of a helper to my husband I would have been had I not
been at work all day long.
I asked my husband this week, "What else is a benefit to having me at home, besides being a wife and mother?" His response was, "It's not just that you are HERE...it's also that you are not THERE." He went on to explain that the impact of me being away from home was often more negative than the positives of me being at home. I thought of it this way: if you drink only purified water, that's good. But it isn't just that you are being hydrated, it's also that you are NOT drinking sugars, artificial sweeteners, dyes, and other toxins. I'm not saying that every job out there is full of toxins, but they do call you away from home, if in no other way than taking the bulk of your time.
Or, just like I did when working, you may define yourself by what you do there, rather than what you do at home.
I actually find it funny that we have a label for those of us at home. For the majority of our culture's existence, a woman being at home has been the norm. But when someone asks me what I do, I say, "I'm a stay-at-home-mom". I'm defined by that phrase a lot of the time, and I'm okay with that, because I'm defining myself by my top priorities.
I think I will say "homemaker" from now on, though, because I'm not just a mom when I am at my home. I am also a helpmeet, housekeeper, chef, teacher, chauffeur, party planner, landscape artist, laundry technician, counselor, personal shopper, nurse, and so much more! What a beautiful calling it is to be at home. We were created (female) for this!