Friday, April 18, 2014

If I Could Do ONE Thing Over...

I have made my share of bad choices, learned lessons the hard way, and had to accept the consequences of those decisions.  Ever look back on your life and say, "Oh, if only I could do that over again, I'd do it differently"? 

There is plenty that I could live with the regret about, if I allowed myself to dwell on it, but many of my bad decisions have led me to be who I am today.  Some of those I learned so much from that I cannot bring myself to wish it were different.

One decision, though, kept me from learning lessons that would have been valuable in the life I'm living today!

If I had one do-over in this life, I would choose to be at home from 
the time I married, rather than waiting until we had our first baby. 

Yes, I'm still on that subject today, because I want to give you just a few of the reasons behind why I would do that over if I could.

  1. The most basic reason is that it would have been SO much easier to figure out how to cook, clean, and manage my home BEFORE we had three babies born in three years' time!  It was difficult, at best, to care for one little one--and three little ones--while trying to teach myself these things.  Even before we had children, because I worked full-time in a 50-hour per week job, we ate a LOT of frozen pizza and Hot Pockets for dinner.  Ugh.  My husband would have loved the home-cooked meals I am able to make now!  But gone are the days when women were trained and prepared to be keepers at home, wives, and mothers before taking on the role. 
  2. The second reason is that coming home only because a baby was born caused my mindset to be that the priority was to be at home to serve children.  But the first priorities are to be a worker at home and to serve my husband.  Why not choose to be at home for him?  PLUS....that keeps him in the mindset of being the sole provider for your home!  
  3. The third and biggest reason I'd do this differently is because I am called to submit to my husband, and by taking a job, I placed myself in submission to another man.  There were many times that my husband wanted me to be somewhere with him, but I "couldn't" because I had to work.  So, I was not submitting to the one I was supposed to submit to, and, instead, choosing to submit to a boss.  (Yes, I realize that many of you are submitting to your husband by taking a job.  Please see the fine print at the end of this post to be encouraged in that area.)  

Changing this one thing would have had a positive impact on my life today!  Since I cannot actually go back to change it, though, I will just keep pressing on to becoming more skilled in this domain, so that my daughter doesn't have the same thing on her list of do-overs! 

 What about you?  If you had one "do-over", what would it be?  Tell me in the comments!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

More of My Story: I've Been on Both Sides

Wanna know why I'm so passionate about helping women be "keepers at home" in the Biblical meaning of the word?  It's because I haven't always been her.

Yes, it's true.  I have been a working wife and mother.  I am at home now, but I have not always been at home.

When we married, I had a job, and I worked for seven years until our oldest son was born.  I left a position in a commercial mortgage office just two weeks prior to his birth.  We couldn't afford our lifestyle after this significant loss of income, so my husband took a second full-time job to make up for the deficit. 

Life was hard. 

We had our daughter only 15 months later.  My husband continued to work 90+ hours every week. 

Life got harder. 

My bright idea was to get a job so that we had the income we "needed" at that time, and so that he could work less.  I had high hopes that life would be SO much easier this way!  

But instead, life was the hardest it had ever been.  

It was not hard because of the work I was doing.  I actually loved the work I was doing!   

It was hardest because we knew what we believed was God's will for our family--and, still, we made the opposite choice.  

There is nothing more difficult than living the opposite of what I knew God wanted for me.

So why am I sharing this with you today?  Because my post from earlier this week brought to my virtual doorstep so many saying, "You don't know what it's like to have to work."  And "consider the working woman's viewpoint".  But the truth is, I know firsthand what it is like.  

No, my husband was not making me work.  It was my idea, much like Hagar was Sarah's idea.

No, I was not a single mom, as many women are today.  But my day looked exactly like yours, only with a husband beside me as I slept.  He worked so much, and I worked so much, that my life was that of a single, working mom in nearly every way.

What I want you all to know is that I have no judgment against any woman who works outside of her home.  I still must write about the truth as I have learned it--that God's desire for us to be "keepers at home", keeping post in our home, guarding our home--but there is no condemnation in my heart for you if you work or do not work.  I've been on both sides. 

I hope that no matter where you are in your life today, that you always seek to know God's BEST for you as a daughter of the King!   You may have a long journey ahead to getting there, and that is okay.  He does see your heart. 

The important thing is that you want what He wants, and then trust Him to make a way. 

Tomorrow, I will share with you the one "do-over" I would love to have, and why I would do that thing differently...