Thursday, May 01, 2014

I'm out of my league here...

I giggle when I look back and think about all God has done to bring me to Far Above Rubies.  I giggle because that's the only thing I know to do!  I feel a lot like Sarah must have felt when she heard the voice of the Lord say that she would carry a child for Abraham.  In her old age, it seemed unlikely, if not impossible.  And she laughed!

But as we all know the story, a promise was fulfilled!  God did something big in the lives of Abraham and Sarah!  I believe that the Lord is going to do something big here, too!  Even when it seems unlikely.  Even when it seems impossible.  

I want to take you back and share a bit of my journey to Far Above Rubies...

Four years ago, I was struggling to keep up with all of life.  I had three children, ages three, two, and new.  My husband was working two full-time jobs.  I was not good at preparing meals for TWO of us...much less FIVE of us.  I was at home by myself A LOT (well, along with three children to care for).  We had no family nearby (still don't).  I never had any help with anything or a break from any of it.  I was dealing with postpartum depression (though, I didn't know it at the time).  And I was drowning in trying to do daily what was before me. 

At one point, I broke.  Thankfully, it was the kind of break that pointed me straight toward the Lord!  All I could do was cry out to Him to help me shake the feeling of being overwhelmed with all of life, to help me get a grip on what I needed to be doing each day, and to help me succeed in my roles as wife, mother, and homemaker.  He is so faithful--and He showed me the way:  His way.  

He told me to focus on what I needed to focus on--and to let the rest go.  I remember saying, "Yes, Lord, I'll do that...but PLEASE give me something in Your Word to stand on!" 

He brought me to Titus 2:4-5...

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, 
to love their children,  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, 
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

When I read this verse, I was set free!  I was free from taking on the burdens of other people, free from any guilt I felt for not serving in other places, and free from feeling obligated to anyone or anything else.  I just needed to focus on my husband, my children, my home, and my personal growth, and that was enough!

During that time, I began to seek out help in the areas in which I was focusing.  I began reading marriage and parenting books, and I began reading blogs to help me in the area of homemaking!  At one point, I was following approximately seventy-five different blogs.  SEVENTY-FIVE.  I was getting seventy-five emails in my inbox every single day from those blogs!  (And, yes, I do believe Far Above Rubies was one of them!) 

I finally narrowed it down to a few to stick with which helped me the most at that time.  That is where I learned how to create a homemaking binder, setting up a cleaning routine and laundry schedule, and some simple meal ideas.  (No more Hamburger Helper every night!)  And a few of them were so inspiring!

In all the time I read those blogs, I never really thought of myself as a blogger.  I've always said about myself that I'm better in person than on paper.  I'm a better speaker than writer.  I still have to read my posts aloud to myself to be sure they "sound" right.  

About three months ago, I began praying a specific prayer:  the prayer of Jabez.  

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me
and enlarge my territory!  Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm
so that I will be free from pain."  And God granted his request. 
1 Chronicles 4:10 

I began praying this for ministry opportunities.  I have been leading women's groups for years, but I have the vision from the Lord that I will lead on a much larger stage!   I do not yet know what that stage will be, or when it will take place, but I know He has been preparing me for it for many years.  

As I prayed, I began to simply keep my eyes open.  It was only a matter of days after beginning to pray that prayer, that Far Above Rubies became a possible path.

One day, I pulled up Facebook at a random moment, and the very first post I saw was that the blog was for sale.  I emailed immediately, and prayed that God's will would be done.  

Obviously, I'm the one who was selected and who purchased Far Above Rubies blog...but the story doesn't end there.  You see, I still did not see myself becoming a blogger.  And I'm still a better speaker than writer!  But that's where it gets really good!

Now He has me where He wants me:  in a place I'm not as confident or equipped.  I'm in a place where my natural strengths are not as obvious.  Where my weaknesses shine forth sometimes.  

But I'm also in a place where, in my weakness, HE is made strong!  In this place, without Him, I am nothing.  In this place, success is unlikely, maybe even impossible, if relying on my own abilities.  

But with God, all things are possible!

I am learning to keep my eyes on Him as I step out of any boat He asks me to step out of.  These "waters" are unfamiliar territory.  And it is a path I cannot navigate on my own.  I need Him here.  

This song played in my mind in the weeks surrounding this new path:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.  
Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me.  
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.  
And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." 

 I've learned the lesson in this path to becoming a blogger, but it applies to every area of my life.  If I keep my eyes on Him, I can do anything with His help.  If I look away, my feet may fail.

I need Him as a blogger.  I need Him as a wife.  As a mom.  As a homeschooler.  As a homemaker.

May we all keep our eyes on Jesus as we step out of our own boats to follow Him! 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Love hearing from you.