The truth is that it WAS in my way. It was in my seat! I had to sit partly on my husband's seat to keep from sitting on her purse....while MY purse was on the floor!
My initial thoughts were, "REALLY??? You're asking if you can put your purse in MY way so it doesn't get DIRTY? That must be some purse! REALLY???" (No...I didn't SAY any of this to her.)
A few minutes later, as we worshiped, she kept swinging her arms to clap and elbowing me in the arm. I was standing there, evaluating what to do about this person beside me. I had determined in my mind that she was being selfish.
I did the best thing I could do in that situation; I prayed that God would change her heart of selfishness!
|Tumblr - michellestation|
Somewhere in the middle of that prayer I heard Him say to me, "Melissa, she is being no more selfish than YOU are being right now."
Me: "Wait...what? I am being selfish? It is my chair! And my arm that is getting bruised! It's my space! And I am being selfish?"
Him: "Yes, YOU are being selfish. Maybe she is as well, but I'll deal with her on that. But, right now, YOU are being selfish, too."
Whew. It only took a second for me to realize that He was right. I was holding onto what I wanted, what I felt was mine to hold on to, and what I felt was fair. But the thing is....love is not fair. True, pure, and unconditional love is anything but fair.
Love is putting my needs on a back burner for the needs (or yes, maybe the "wants") of the other person to be fulfilled. Love is laying down my life, or in this case, my seat.
This kind of love went to the cross for the very ones who put Him there.
In that moment at church, love was choosing to let God change ME. Yes, Lord, change ME. For your glory and for the benefit of all others, change ME.