- Why can't you be more like your brother or sister.
- You can't do anything right.
- What's wrong with you!
- You're hopeless.
- I wish you were a boy.
- I wish you were a girl.
- We really wanted a boy.
- We really wanted a girl.
- You're such a disappointment.
- She or he is my favorite.
As parents, our expectations for our children should be realistic and reasonable. We need to be aware of their likes, needs, and natural bent.
If we place unreasonable expectations on our children and they do not meet those expectations, we end up criticizing our children. We say things that break their spirits causing them to feel hopeless and defeated.
We should make every effort to affirm our children's accomplishments; small and big. God has given our children gifts, talents, and abilities. Find out what they are and lean into that with grace and wisdom.
Mothers may have to take inventory and loosen their grip on raising "safe" children. "Safe" children can feel hopeless, too.
I remember burning all Disney books, videos, and other materials in an effort to keep my children in a safe and controlled atmosphere, but it only caused them to weaken in some areas.
I don't want safe kids. I want strong kids.
Are you criticizing or affirming your children?
Excellent Resource:
Grace-Based Parenting
Psalm 139:14
You are fearfully and wonderfully made....

Wow, who would ever dream of saying such things? I love the point of this post, to encourage and affirm our children, but it's downright disturbing to imagine these things being said at all! wow.
ReplyDeleteJennie, sadly some parents do say such things to their children. However, I am glad you understood the point of this post. To affirm our children is so important.
DeleteThanks.
Yes, parents do say cruel things to their children sometimes. I know a girl whose mom told her it would been better if she had not been born. She was mad at the daughter because she would not do exactly what the mom wanted her to do. The girl is married and has not felt the same toward her mother since.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what I can't imagine being that cruel.
Charlotte, sometimes in anger and selfishness - words cut deep.
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