A Personal Note

I haven't had time to write due to illness and children needing my attention. It is difficult to write when I feel so impotent.

Although I feel incapable of writing anything relevant at this time, I know that God is in control.

I despise writing to keep traffic flowing, numbers growing, and sponsors happy. Although such things are good and fine for some, I have grown weary of writing because I have to.

Somewhere along the way I lost site of what's truly important to me: writing to glorify God and allowing Him to change souls through words penned on this site.

I will keep writing because it's a love affair, but you will not hear from me as frequently.

The pursuit of excellence requires I let go and stop trying to control everything - including what I write.

I'm coming into my own, so my writing will change; to understand and not to be understood.

So, I leave you with something that I am beginning to understand.

I feel most insecure when I'm feminine and beautiful.

Guilt and shame strangles my ability to inhale the scent of my husband and delight in his masculinity.

Hugs are painful, but I hug hard.

Brushing my daughters' hair is excruciating because my own long hair was chopped off by an angry mother who did her best to raise four girls. I brush slowly, deliberately; touching each strand and blessing with each stroke because the irony of God giving me four girls keeps me humble.

I love you because I need to.