Are You a Good Spiritual Follower?

"Am I a good Spiritual Follower?"Perhaps some of you wives can relate:

Throughout the years, we describe our husbands in a very positive, loving light...we say they are men of integrity, handsome, funny, hard-working, faithful, wise, etc...and then we make the fatal mistake...(at least I used to...not anymore...but maybe someone reading this is still where I was once)...

The fatal mistake is: "If only he were a bit better at being a Spiritual Leader If only he would take charge of our family as far as our faith and spirituality are concerned".

Usually, what we mean by this is: I have assessed my husband's position as Spiritual Leader in my family by what I think I have seen in other husbands!!!
Have you done that?

I know I have.

We wish that our husbands, like Mr. So-and-So...would gather all his little ones around our hearth each night for Bible Study...or we wish he would unfailingly lead us in the rosary  or other faith-based devotions every single day like so-and-so's husband does. We wish he would teach us the faith more, instead of us having to do it all...we wish he wouldn't be so reserved or private in his faith.

What God has shown me in the past years (and for this, I am so grateful to Him, my loving Father)...is that we can not set our poor husbands up with some puffed-up expectation according to an impression we have (which, in reality is most likely not as we imagine it anyway) of others. The Lord gently taught me that my husband is a wonderful Spiritual  Leader...I was just not being a good Spiritual Follower!

I allowed many quiet things my dear husband does to lead us slip right by, almost unnoticed, because I was waiting for something I thought he should be; rather than appreciating who he already was.

Just because your husband does not fit a certain mold, or does not do things that those other "seemingly perfect" Christian families might do (and this is not to say that it's not a lovely or good thing if some husbands really do gather their children 'round the hearth each night...God bless them...it is wonderful!)... doesn't mean that he is not leading you and your children spiritually.

In my personal experience, my husband has always been a man of few words...he is a man of action..his military background loans itself to that way, in that he sees a mission, finds the best way to tackle the mission...carries out the mission...and moves onto the next mission. He would much rather do than talk about doing.

However, in his quiet way...in the way that he lives...he is constantly and consistently leading us through his wonderful example...he hits his knees by his bed each and every night before sleeping...he spends a very quiet, private hour at 4:30 a.m. in the Perpetual Adoration Chapel of our parish each Monday morning...he has the most integrity of any man I've ever met...he puts God first in his life, and stands up for what is right, even when that brings him persecution and personal suffering.

Francis of Assisi once said, "Preach the gospel, and when necessary, use words"...this is my husband....and perhaps, yours too!

If I had been a good Spiritual Follower in those days, I would have noticed these things, instead of waiting on something to materialize that wasn't meant to be in the first place. I know that my children are walking with the Lord because of the wonderful example their father has set for them. They accept him and seek his wisdom and follow his lead, just the way he is...By the grace of God...I have learned to do the same.

I also learned that it is a great help to our husbands; and, remember, we were created to be their helpmeets...when we, as wives, homemakers, and/or homeschooling instructors, take it upon ourselves to be the facilitators of an active prayer life in our homes. If our children see us praying, they will pray. If we prepare and gather everyone in for a family prayer time, they will come. Once we are seated together, we can allow our husbands to take over and lead us, in devotions. However, many times, a husband has been away from home 10-12 hours and is very tired by the time he comes home. It is a blessing to him if we have tended to the little details of bringing the family together, deciding what Scripture verses or devotions we will share, and making sure that any supplies needed are ready and waiting for our family prayer time.

Ask your husband what he would like to do insofar as family devotions are concerned and then take the reins to see that it is carried out. If your husband's vision doesn't look like yours, it's ok! Ask God to speak to your heart through your husband. Then, follow His lead!

The next time you feel tempted to judge your spouse according to what you think you see in other marriages and families, ask yourself, "Am I being a good spiritual follower?"

Trust God to lead you through your husband in the way that He chooses, not in the way that you think it should be done.

Judy Dudich is owner of Homeschool Faith and Family Life, the website that uplifts, encourages, and supports families in their daily life journeys.  She and her husband Tom have been blessed with ten children and four grand-babies; so far!  

Judy has successfully taught all grades, K-12, while striving to surrender each day to Christ as she learns along-side her family. She is the author of, “I Surrender”,  the study guide for women seeking Christ in the center of their daily life journeys and available in hard copy, e-book, Kindle, and Nook at BookLocker. You can listen to Judy, LIVE, on her online radio show, "Mothers at Home"; coming to you, every other Friday, on Blog Talk Radio, to encourage you in your vocation at home! You may visit Judy's personal blog: Benmakesten, connect with her on Facebook, or follow her on Twitter.