It did my heart good to read that someone else understands my shame, confusion, and struggle. The deep anger and resentment she felt for her husband and unexpected life change allowed me to understand that my feelings are normal, but finding a way to forgive and move on is crucial for a family to survive financial hardship.
There are days I don't know how to forgive. There are days I don't want to forgive. It's an effort to smile and be kind. I want to complain and grow bitter because this....this seems easier. I want to blame everyone for my pain.
But God is faithful, and I cling. I cling because if I don't - I'm not sure how low I would sink.
My flesh and heart are wicked.
Clinging to God has been intentional. I've made it a point to:
- Read His Word daily (I keep a basket with handles filled with my devotional essentials near my bed).
- Pray without ceasing.
- Journal.
- Eucharisteo.
- Meet with my mentor weekly.
- Attend church regularly.
- Surround myself with strong Christian individuals.
- Stay away from gossips and judgmental people.
- Find a safe place where I can reflect and be quiet. I asked my husband to build me a shed where I can pray and write.
I have this in mind, but it probably won't be as elaborate. ;-)
Not everyone will empathize with my (your) situation. Many will judge and believe as Job's friends believed: You must have done something to deserve such ruin. God does not allow the righteous to suffer.
Stand firm and intentionally cling to God. At the end of the day, He's the only One that matters.
But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus,
after you have suffered a while, will make you perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
I Peter 5:10
Jasmine, we went through many years of unemployment or part time employment. I didn't know until later that God used those times to teach my children deep lessons as well. Our eldest still remembers coming home to anonymous gifts of toilet paper (whoo hoo!) and groceries when she was 11. She said that although she knew she was saved at that time, she also realized that God was very very real and could be trusted with provision! She committed her life to Him in a different way during those years. I just learned this a few years ago when she wrote her testimony on an application for a camp cook!
ReplyDeleteI remember hating being the needy one during those years. I like giving! I like helping! Instead, I had to receive but God used that mightily in the lives of my children.
Jill Farris
Jill, thank you so much for sharing with me. It encourages me to know what it did for your children. I know God is working. I see it everyday.
DeleteSomeone recently gifted us with Toilet Paper too. Woot!!
THis is beautiful! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, Dana. Hugs....
DeleteNo, you can't listen to those who say it is your fault when you suffer. There are simply times of suffering though we don't deserve it.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Ellie. Thank you.
DeleteMy husband is between pastorates and it's been a long two years + now. Something we never imagined. He's working 60 hours a week at $10/hour, but his bossses give him freedom to preach and candidate.
ReplyDeleteThis has been a time of "stretching our faith"--but because of being debt free and being trained with Bible values it's been good for us.
I am rereading Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secrets, Frances Havergals books, and Andrew Murray's Abide in Christ and the Master's Indwelling. All of these remind me that the Lord only uses times like these to show me where I have taken up reliance on other things than Him. He does the work--not me. It is so hard for my flesh to agree with that, but it's true! You're in my prayers, I think a place to "set aside" with Him is always wonderful.
Tamara
http://lettersfrommom-nealsnews.blogspot.com/
Thank you, Tamara. I need to look into the books you mentioned.
DeleteI can relate to this also. When we first moved to Tulsa, a few years ago, there was a time when there was 84 cents in the checkbook. Toilet paper missing & we turned to tissues. Hubby got a job at a church & instead of throwing out the half rolls from the bathrooms, he was told to take it home! Yahoo! God even cares about toilet paper!
ReplyDeleteI recently started reading Ann Voskamp's "one thousand gifts" & it is speaking to me, for such a time is this. This book has been a wake-up call for me to seek Him deeper than ever before. He will provide.
Amen, Kim. Who would have thought that toilet paper would be such a blessing. ;-)
DeleteJasmine, I have read your blog for some time as it has blessed me often.My husband has been working for a year now after a 1 1/2 year "battle" with being unemployed. Many didn't understand---"why can't you find work you're an electrician?" He was made to feel like a failure by many and thus began to feel this way about himself. See, in my dear husbands case, he had a horrific accident 6 months previous to losing his job which caused a severe break in his leg at the knee. He worked with his father for the family business for 25 years. When the economy slowed so did the work and my FIL decided suddenly to "pull the plug" without warning, blaming the slow work on my husband due to his injury (he still limps every day). It was difficult, I want to say that I was always understanding and stood firm in my faith, but alas I cannot. We learned so much...most of all that out dear Father is always there. We never were hungry or without clothing. I can remember annonymous blessings that came without warning (the the envelope with only our typed address and cash inside folded within the pages of an old Bible) He is always there...always! ♥
ReplyDeleteOh, Ellen - thank you for sharing. I'm so happy your husband is working.
DeleteDear Jasmine,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this post. My hubby is such a hard worker (a carpenter) but with this slow economy, work is scarce. However, the Lord always meets our needs. And we believe it's because we honor Him as we obey the Titus 2 mandate. Do we go on cruises? No. Do we own a summer home? No. But I have learned to be content with what we have. (I Tim. 6:6) :)
Keep looking up (Titus 2:13)!
Hoping you have a lovely week-end,
Lisa
Lisa, thank you for the verses. His Word brings such healing.
DeleteAndrew Murray's "Abide in Christ" is life changing.When my son was a drug addict and a prodigal, it really helped. also our situations are different but the feeling of keeping yourself surrounded by non-judgemental people is the same.I just had to keep my focus on who GOD is at all times-was my
ReplyDeletelifeline. Praying for you
love, Becky
Becky, thank you for your encouraging words and recommendation. I love Andrew Murray's books.
DeleteWe are going through this right now. My husband has been out of work for 2 1/2 years. He injured his back 8 years ago and it has been hard since then. He was out of work for 3 1/2 years when he hurt his back, then got a job for just a little while now unemployed again. I often feel like we are Job and his wife, though I have never told my husband to curse God and die. Not only do I feel judged by members of our church but the leadership, who have helped us with our bill the last month, are making requirements of my husband that sometimes make him feel inferior and stupid. They ask him to do things in finding jobs that he just knows will not work. The man who is advising him has never really been out of work as far as I know. He has a good job and doesn't really understand our situation. It is so hard not to be bitter. We have had one church member bring us some bread a few times, that is it. I don't feel cared for most of the time. We have had no surprise gifts left on our doorstep. My kids are hungry most days, and so am I. Most of us only eat 2 meals a day and go to be still hungry. If the church was not paying some of our bills I would probably not go back at all. I feel abandoned and I cry a lot. My family is not supportive at all. My husband's family have given us money, once. We don't understand what God is doing but we are striving to trust him day by day. It is really hard. Thanks for the encouraging words today and I will see if our public library has that book since I can't afford to buy anything right now.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I'm so sorry about your situation. The author of the book contacted me. See below. Please read the message and if you think this would be a good thing for you - contact her.
DeletePlease keep in touch with me.
Jasmine, I'm so encouraged knowing my book is helping you! Thank you for sharing your heart and story with others here on your blog.
ReplyDeleteIf I could, I would like to share that I have a private Facebook group set up for Unemployed Faith. There are about 20 or so members now. All Christian women who have either been there, done that or are currently in the midst of unemployment and financial hardship in the home.
I'm in awe at how God is working in this group. It's slowly growing and the women are amazing encouragement to each other. None of them have ever met, yet they are quickly developing loving, supportive friendships in this private little corner of Facebook. They pray for each other, share joys, shed tears of frustration, and lift each other up.
If you or any of your readers would find this kind of a group to be a great source of encouragement, I invite you to send me a quick email (Rosann@UnemployedFaith.com) introducing yourself and sharing a bit of your story, and I'll get you added to the group. In order to keep the group a safe and encouraging place for the members, I don't just accept random requests to join the group. I have to know at least a little bit about who you are, how you found the group, and your unemployment story.
Because it's a private group, you never have to worry about your Facebook friends, family, or colleagues seeing what you're sharing. Only members of the group will see posts.
Jasmine, I will be adding you to my daily prayer list. I do know how difficult it is to be the wife to an unemployed man. It can be very lonely. It can feel like few people truly understand or like others are judging you and your situation. Be comforted in knowing God's got you and your family wrapped up in His loving arms. He will never leave you. Have faith that no matter how bleak things seem right now, God's got this. This too shall pass...eventually. And when it does, you'll look back and have an "aha!" moment understanding why the journey happened as it did - because God knew what was best.
Sending you a big virtual hug. :)
Blessings,
~Rosann
UnemployedFaith.com
Rosann, God is so good. Thank you for your note of encouragement as well as your invitation to send you an email.
DeleteI will do that. Thank you, friend.
Thanks for your raw honesty here, Jasmine. I find that being real is what has the most impact on other women, and that so many have shared their stories here in the comments is evidence of that. While my dh is employed and has had steady work throughout the current economic downturn, we've certainly lived through times of want and know how quickly our situation could change. Sending up a prayer for you and those who've opened their hearts here that you will all find comfort in Jehovah Jireh.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, ~Lisa
Jasmine, I look at this and think, wow, look at all of these people who are in the same boat or have been there. It all just makes me so sad. No body has the right to judge one another on any situation, on ANY situation. God puts us to the task of loving He can be the judge.
ReplyDeleteOh, and Jasmine, I like your idea of a shed (smile) now that's a 'GIRL CAVE'!
Jasmine, I have read your blog for the past couple of years now as it has helped in keeping me encouraged. I did not get a lot of support when I decided that I was going to answer God's calling of being a SAHM. I really did not get any support when I pulled my kids out of public school to homeschool them. And when my husband lost his job 2 years ago. I really got "are you going to go to work now?" look. We have gone through the exact same things that you and some of the other ladies have gone through. The worst part of it is when your family looks at you as if it is your fault somehow. When my husband was pounding the pavement daily looking for work and could not find any, they figured it was something he wasn't doing right! We were in the process of buying our first starter home and I had just given birth to my first daughter and the week we were suppose to close, he was laid off...we had to live with family, hotels and was homeless for two weeks sleeping in our car at the local Wal-Mart parking lot.
ReplyDeleteDuring all of this turmoil, God used it to show us who was really there for us and the true heart of certain people in our lives. The hurtful part was seeing certain family members for who they really were. It bought my entire family close together. We realized that we had to be a strong family unit. It has been a journey and God will surely provide for you in this time as he had for us. My husband was finally offered a position recently (after 2 1/2 years) and we are planning a move to a different city. I have no idea how we are going to get there but am trusting that God will provide as he always have. My sister although it may seem hard right now, please know that God has a plan and a reason for this. I did not realize it at first but now I know.
Rosann and her book really helped me during this time too and I still continue to read it and suggest this same book to other people I know. I thank God for you and Far Above Rubies ministry. Because that is what God has given you, "a ministry"! May God give you peace and cover you in this transition. He WILL take care of you. ((HUGS))
~Mystiqua
We are in a season of unemployment too--thanks for the encouraging post. I think the hardest part so far is helping to keep my husband's spirits up as he searches for work.
ReplyDeleteWe have seen God provide abundantly before, and know He will.
I enjoy your blog so VERY much!
~april
Thank you for this wonderful post. My husband lost his job last December. It is encouraging to know that I am not alone in my struggle. I have had many of the same feelings you listed. I have felt guilty for blaming him and being angry when I know deep down it wasn't his fault. I know we are blessed but when the stress of everyday life weighs you done you tend to forget that.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
Thank you for this!
ReplyDeleteWe are not in a season of unemployment there are other reasons for financial or other situations that your post can be applied in my life and likely others. This really touched my heart. It is so important to cling to the Lord and I have found what you said to be absolutely true!! I love your idea for your place for prayer outside. I hope you can have one built just as beautiful as this!! With heat for winter :-) if it gets cold where you live :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat an overwhelming response!! It is bittersweet, sisters, that we share this in common. I long to be pray and be with you, but knowing that we are not alone in our struggles brings comfort.
ReplyDeleteLet us lift one another up in prayer daily.
Also, see above - where the author of the book contacted us. She left an encouraging message.
All of my love,
Jasmine