As moms, we aim to do a lot more than we should. In fact, it's one of the reasons we often feel overwhelmed.
Instead of taking on more responsibility, here are five tips to help the over-stressed mom.
Let your children do it.
Your job is to help the child reach a place where they can do the basics on their own.
That means you teach and train a child how to use a broom and vacuum, then letting them vacuum the living room. At an early age children should be picking up their rooms, making their beds, organizing their closets, and getting their own snacks. It's not going to be perfect, but that's what training is all about.
Let your yes be yes and your no - no.
Be selective in what we agree to do prevent feelings of exhaustion and reduce levels of anxiety.
And saying no also applies to your children. Contrary to popular belief saying no will make you a much better mom.
Stop excusing your child's inappropriate behavior.
"She didn't mean it. She only wanted to play." I gave this excuse once for one of my children and the mother threw me a look that said, "Seriously?!" Making my child take ownership for what she had done would have been the appropriate response.
Ask others for help
So many mothers feel they cannot ask for help. A network of women that support one another is so important and necessary. Make dinner for a sick mom or babysit while mom takes a trip to the doctor or grocery store.
Me Time
I started scheduling me time. I take weekly trips to a cafe where I enjoy writing, browsing books, and drinking tea. I also began exercising at least three times a week in the morning or whenever I get the chance. I'm trying to eat smaller meals more frequently to speed up my metabolism.
I intentionally spend time with the Lord in the mornings to renew my spirit and mind. I pray daily and meditate on verses that help me in areas of struggle.
Me time might look different for you, but I encourage you to take care of yourself. If this seems impossible, refer to "Not Asking for Help."
Moms are usually stereotyped as frazzled and overwhelmed because we live in a world where we spend most of our time majoring in the minors.
I struggle most with asking others for help.
What's your biggest struggle?
Are you encouraged here? I personally invite you to subscribe and get the latest posts sent to your inbox or RSS feed! Also, connect with us on Facebook and Twitter and get updates that are not posted here on the blog.
Great post jasmine,
ReplyDeleteWe are doing lots of trainning here, not always easy but worth it
Definitely worth it, but rarely easy. Hugs, Renee. xox
DeleteI am compiling such a list! Great thoughts on how to really be an effective wife and mom :)I LOVED receiving that comment from you. Jasmine, you made my day :)I don't normally feel needy like that, but it just ministered grace to my soul, dear sister. Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteJacqueline
Jacqueline, I've been thinking of you. Wanted to let you know. You are such a blessing.
DeleteAsking for help is definitely my biggest struggle, too!
ReplyDeleteI know. Believing that we're supposed to do it all is not accurate.
DeleteThe "me time" is a problem here. I need to be gone sometimes with hubby for business (kinda a complicated reason there) so any other time I spend "away from kids and house" whether even just in my room,makes me feel guilty. But then I VERY rarely ever have any "alone" time except Bible reading.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this list. I was a little baffled at first because it says "things every mom should stop" but then some are listed in the positive and some the negative. So I hope I understood your meaning. :)
For many years I felt guilty for wanting me time, but I finally got over myself and decided to go for it. It's been refreshing. ;-)
DeleteWonderful! I agree wholeheartedly and thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteTina - author of Happy Moms, Happy Homes at http://happymomshappyhomes.blogspot.com
You're welcome, Tina. Hope you're well.
DeleteMy biggest struggle is me time, I always put others first or am so tired that I don't even bother. I need to find a way to book the space for myself, especially exercise and eating healthier
ReplyDeleteMelanie, it's not easy, but if you make it a priority - you'll find you can do it. It may not be an everyday thing, but shoot for 2x a week and see what happens. Do what works for you and your family.
DeleteI found that going to a cafe once a week helps me gather my thoughts, pay bills, read, write, etc....
Great post! It is so easy to become overwhelmed as a mother!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear more about your morning routine and how you fit in your devotional time, exercise time and blogging. I keep trying to figure out how to best attempt to fit it all in! Would love to hear more from you on this!
Hi, busymomof10. What a blessing to have ten children. Congratulations!!
DeleteI get up by 6:30 a.m. and fit in at least half an hour of reading scripture and a devotional book. I pray throughout the day since the children are up by 7:00 a.m. We also have devotions as a family around 10:00 a.m. - after breakfast and chores.
I fit in exercise whenever I can. To make it convenient, I have a mini trampoline set up for continued use. I don't put it away because it'll stay away. ;-)
Blogging and writing has to be intentional. During my time at the cafe - I try to write as much as possible and preschedule my posts.
I also have lovely contributors that help with the writing here on FAR.
I also use Buffer which allows to me to preschedule my posts onto Facebook and Twitter.
Let me know if that helps.
What a wonderful post! Exactly what I needed to hear. I'd say asking for help is my biggest struggle. I am overwhelmed b/c I am asking too much of myself and too little of others.
ReplyDeleteI understand, April. It's my same struggle, but I'm learning to ask for help of others that I trust - when I need it. Also, teaching the children to do many basic things has helped tremendously.
DeleteI'm in the middle of teaching Ella to make her bed, brush her teeth, and clean up her room. My older daughter helps me with the training.
I suddenly felt tired when the leftover ice cream cake fell upside down from the freezer. I had done enough and needed a rest. Your post was what I needed right now. I like the idea of going to a cafe by myself. After years of being a mom...I think I can do this without feeling guilty, lol :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
There are times when our daily chores around the house can take a toll on us especially if we are very busy. For moms, they need all the help that they can get in maintaining the cleanliness of the house. The kids might not be doing the sweeping or the wiping but they help mommy by trying not to be messy. Your post provided much insight on how moms will be able to cope with some of the issues they face at home, thank you.
ReplyDelete