Teaching our Children Self-Motivation

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, 

Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.

Proverbs 6:6

It's that time of the year, where the school schedule has gotten old and maybe even the bright school supplies have given way to half broken crayons. Momentum slows, and we are just hoping to make it to the finish line of another year.

As mothers we feel the stretch of needing to be doing a hundred things at once and we wonder how we will manage it all. We feel overwhelmed by the busyness of all that is involved in our calling as wives and mothers.

And sometimes I think that we are trying to do too much. What do I mean by that?

Sometimes as mothers we can forget that as our homes grow our family size grows and our responsibilities grow, so our ability to delegate and administrate should grow.

As my husband and I had our power-planning meetings at the beginning of the year and laid out our goals for the homeschool year of 2011-2012, our planning went beyond the textbooks to character goals in our children. One of those goals was to grow in the area of our children learning self-motivation.

As the Proverb above shows, it is so important that our children learn the character of self-discipline. That they be growing in the ability to work with diligence even when not under our watchful eye.

We do not want to raise our sons and daughters to have to hold our hands through every situation, but to be slowly encouraging them to take responsibility for their duties that God has given them, whether that is clearing the table, or working on their algebra.

Of course, when they are little they do need the step by step instruction. They need gentle, patient guidance as they are learning their tasks and responsibilities. But, even young ones can very quickly learn self- discipline and can feel much satisfaction in a job well done. Young ones even that cannot read, can be given picture charts that they are able to have a routine that can be done habitually without oversight.

Here are just a few things we have found to help towards and are still working on towards our continuing goal with our own children:

• Reduce television/video times, computer games and other media. My children are like sponges and the moment media is on everything stops. Media can become such a distraction, so sometimes we have to crack down on even the approved "good" things, to not sacrifice the best things.

• Have accountability with rewards and consequences. Michelle Dugger is a wonderful example of the phrase, "You can catch more flies with honey then vinegar..." So make sure besides there are plenty of rewards and incentives. At our home we have "stellar awards","initiative awards", and "caught in the act of kindness awards."

• Find a system that they enjoy to keep them accountable for their daily responsibilities. We have done a variety of things from check lists, to something akin to chore packs (clips on their belts with their chore cards in them). This year the Lord gave us the vision of having a theme of Kingdom Building (like Nehemiah building the wall of Jerusalem) so we created a system we call our Kingdom Wall where their responsibilities are "kingdom blocks."

• Continually reassess where the Lord would have you tweak things for the good of your family. I went back through and changed a few things not long ago. Our children need to be stretched and called up to higher responsibilities and encouraged to charter new paths of maturity.

In conclusion, let me just say I write all of this as one in the thick of the struggle. If you had been in my house this past week you would see that I am in this with you as one daily fighting the battle on the homefront.

Teaching diligence in our children is certainly not an easy one and there is much against it, their own flesh being chief. Our society shows youth to be a time of slackness, foolishness and lack of responsibility. May the Lord give us wisdom as Titus 2 mothers to guide our young people along a different path of obedience, a love of work, and faithful service before the Lord.

Jenny is an ordinary mom with an extraordinary God. Following a beautiful courtship, she has been married to her best friend for over 16 years. Jenny homeschools her 7 children (ages 14-10 mo). This means everything from teaching basic phonics, to assisting her oldest through CollegePlus! When she is not teaching, playing with her children, or changing diapers, she loves to sing, write, blog and clean...yes, clean.

 As a recovering OCD perfectionist and "neat freak" she still has unmatched socks, messy closets and is allergic to mornings. Jenny is also the author of the ebook Embracing the Mess.  Come and be refreshed, blessed and challenged in your high calling as a wife and mother over at A Mother's Heritage. You may also follow her on Facebook, or Twitter.