Thursday, June 23, 2011

Rebuilding the Walls: How to Handle the Attack of Trolls

Rebuilding the Walls: How to Handle the Attack of Trolls

Guest post by Lydia Sherman from Home Living


The attacker, the naysayer, the whiner, the scorner and the scoffer--yes the troll: has been with mankind since the beginning of time. The purpose of a troll is it get you to abandon your walk in life. No sooner do we open our Bible, when we find the first troll, Satan, slithering around looking for a way to destroy someone's peaceful existence. And, destroy it, he did. Eve's first mistake was talking to the devil. The devil used a question in order to get the conversation started.

So this brings me to my first point in handling trolls:

Don't Answer Questions From a Naysayer.

Once you engage someone by answering their questions, you allow them to control what you write. They may begin rather innocently, asking you to tone down your message or be more fair or tolerant of things you do not believe in. They may accuse you of being unkind or mean spirited. Their design is to make you feel so self conscious and guilty that you apologize.

Once they extract an apology out of you, they have subjugated you, and you will never be able to blog your message without a nagging self-consciousness and a creepy awareness that someone hates you. It takes away your creativity and inspiration to blog, and the trolls know this.

The best example of someone attacked by the scornful, despising mockers was Nehemiah. Just read the 2nd chapter of the book and you can see the process:

  • Nehemiah is saddened at the condition of the holy city, Jerusalem, broken down and burnt. He decided to do something about it, and approaches the king, Artaxerxes, for help in rebuilding the the memorials and the walls.
  • The king sends captains of the army and horsemen with Nehemiah, along with letters with permission to collect timber supplies to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
  • Enter, the trolls. When these three men hear it, "they laughed us to scorn, and despised us, and said, What is this thing that you do? Will ye rebel against the king?" Right away, someone is ready to pull down a good work. And, these trolls did nothing to help. Trolls never have a solution. They only exist to monitor people and see that they do not make any progress. This brings us to:
A Definition of a Troll

One of the simplest and best definitions of trolls is this: They are people who look down on you and think they are smarter than you. They often point to spelling and grammar mistakes in your posts, to distract you and others from the main point of your message. Typical of the Pharisees, they are able to quote scripture to you in order to make you feel you are failing to live the proper Christian life. They can accuse you of being a bad mother, a domineering wife, or a poor housekeeper. Whatever it is that you care about the most is what they will attack.

Don't Waste Time Trying to Teach a Pharisee

There is not one of us that does not have a weak spot somewhere, and there is not one Pharisee that cannot find it and expose it in order to bring you down or make you a point of scorn. Trolls also have no solutions. They are like the hamster that treads the same cage all day long, never getting anywhere. It is sometimes tempting for Christians to enter into a dialog with them, hoping to save them from their liberal folly, but they are trained like hamsters, to run around in circles, thinking they are getting somewhere but never really making any progress in their lives.

"Ever learning, but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth." 2nd Timothy 3:7

Pharisees hung on every word Jesus uttered, trying to find mistakes. They quoted scripture to Him.They tried to trap him in his words. They looked for fault. They were jealous. They were not trying to find the truth. The more you talk to a troll on message boards, MySpace or Facebook, instant messaging, email or other groups, the more material the troll gleans from you. He will paste everything you write on a new hate-blog to embarrass you and debilitate you to the point that you cannot raise your head off your pillow in the morning or function during the day.

This brings me to my next point:

Speak Like Nehemiah

Nehemiah answered his trolls:

1. The God of Heaven will prosper us.

2. We are his servants.

3. We will rebuild.

4. You have no part in it.

5. You have no rights.

6. It is not your memorial.

This brings me to the next point:

Keep ministering, teaching, sharing, and working your goals:

A troll's purpose is to stop you, shut you down, and shut you up. Nehemiah's trolls tried the age old methods of derisive laughter (scorn), despising, and accusing him of being against the government. You'll usually find these three tactics in a troll's hate-blog or message board.

Nehemiah kept going because he was doing the business God had sent him to do. He reminded his trolls it was not their business nor their inheritance nor their memorial that he was working on. One of the three trolls, Sanballat "took great indignation, and mocked the Jews," when he heard that the wall had been rebuilt. He belittled their work, saying that a fox would break the stone wall down.

You will notice in the homes, even Christian homes, that some rebellious children do not want their parents to teach them. They want to create as much of an uproar as they can. Then, the parent will not want to open his mouth, fearing the noise and commotion it will cause when he corrects his child. Trolls have been doing this from babyhood. They are undisciplined people who have been trained in communist schools, and they are doing what they were indoctrinated to do. We are doing what we are taught: to publish the work of the Lord abroad. Whether we do it through blogs, letters, or publications, we are on the right side, and we will prevail if we "faint not."

The Lord will turn their reproach upon their own heads, and make them prey for others:

Nehemiah prayed that God would uncover the iniquity of the scoffers. He knew that the scoffers were attacking God. The Bible says in numerous places that God has a host, or an army, and when people attack Him, they are attacking a spiritual army. Trolls are attacking God's Word, and they will heap reproach to themselves. The scorners of Nehemiah were actually provoking the Lord to anger, which is a terrible state to be in.

Every single troll blog or message board is looked down on by the world in general. No one who reads these awful blogs or fake profiles will really respect them. No employer would knowingly hire such a dishonest person. No one would knowingly marry such a dishonest person. These people end up friendless and alone because they will undercut anyone who tries to be their friend.

Sometimes the place of business occurs on my statistics reader for my blog. When I get rude emails, if I am able to trace them to their place of work, I send them on to the employer or headquarters, explaining the situation. I do not know if anyone has been dismissed from their place of employment, but I do know that most of my trolls do their gossiping and attacking during work hours. (At night, they party).

In general, no one of any account really admires trolls or Pharisaical naysayers. No one is writing to such trolls asking for advice on how to live the Biblical womanhood role. No one is thanking them for their beautiful blogs. No one is asking them to write more on other subjects or to share their wisdom. Only the naive and the foolish woman will pay attention to anything a troll says. That being said, I would like to remind you....

Never give a troll or critic any audience on your blog:

Moderate all comments and even if there are some that you just do not feel comfortable with, you are not obligated to print them in the name of fairness. It is tempting for Christian women to mentor other women, especially when they send a comment that has a lot of false notions in it. Once you begin to answer, they collect it all and post it on their own blog.

They may say they asked you for help, but that you were not compassionate. They will say you caused them a lot of "damage." I sometimes think these trolls are working for lawyers because of the terms they use. One would think they are collecting evidence against you to take you to court and put you on trial.

The Pharisees were just like that: always looking for evidence of wrong doing, dishonesty, impurity, breaking the law, etc. Where they cannot see evidence, they create it.

There are three things a communist does to ruin people:

1. Find a weak spot in a person's life, or some past sin, and expose it.

2. If they cannot find anything, make up something.

3. Even if the victim goes to great length to have it proven false, the rumor will stick, and they will never be able to rise above it.

Nehemiah's trolls used rumor as a tool to stop his workers from progressing. Trolls would stand outside the walls taunting and jeering at the workers, telling them that their work was useless. Still, Nehemiah persisted. He armed the workers with weapons. Half of the servants held swords and spears, while the other half worked on the walls. He armed the families in the lower places with bows and arrows.

In blogging, half your effort will be to guard your blog, and the other half will be to work on good posts. The home is like that, too. Half your effort will be protecting it from outside influences, and the other half of your effort will be keeping it nice, improving it, teaching your children and training them. You have to be like our Pilgrim fathers, who carried a Bible in one hand, and a rifle in the other.

Rumor is something that never goes away. One lawyer told me, "You cannot stop a rumor-mill." Over 2,000 years since the death, burial and resurrection of Christ, there are still rumors that the disciples stole his body and that he never rose.
 
I once published a poem on my blog and suggested that the viewers read it aloud to get the best meaning from it. One of the troll-blogs reported that I had ordered every homemaker to read the poem aloud. From then on, they made a big deal about how I had set myself up as a grand leader with a cult-following, leading women astray and doing them "damage." I suppose when I am long gone from this earth, someone will recall my existence and say, "Oh. yes, I remember. That was the lady who told everyone to read poetry out loud."
 
Rumors are designed to debilitate us and depress us so that we lose our inspiration and our drive to do good in this world. James says, "Therefore, to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is a sin. James 4:17. No matter what the trolls do to us, we must obey God and continue to do good.

Protect Yourself and Your Friends and Followers:

Encourage your friends to hide their profile, or to make one that shares no personal information. Sometimes women will proudly display their beliefs, right on their profile, with something like, "I am a home-school, home birth, home-medication, home-grown Christian who believes in spanking my children."

On a public blog, this is a magnet for places that specialize in hunting down what they call "fundie blogs," with the purpose of shutting them down. Use that kind of profile on your private blog, but do have a public blog that is designed for sharing and teaching and influencing the world. Check out my own profile at http://homeliving.blogspot.com/

Christians must publish. Christians must teach. Christians must set a standard for the world. We cannot do that if we hide. If we shut down our blogs, the web and the world will be more of a wasteland than it already is. Look what happened to Detroit. When it was abandoned, all the thugs moved in, and so did the bears.

So, keep two blogs: one that is private where you post pictures of your children, and one is public, where you post the beautiful paintings and the things that will inspire women. Your children are not fodder for trolls. Take off all their pictures and do not reveal anything on your public blog about your husband, his place of employment, or your children. It is not the public's business. It gives trolls material to make their hateful blogs. If you let people know anything about your grown children, trolls will find out where they work and contact them, and maybe cause them a loss of employment. You need to protect your family.

Nehemiah posted sentries outside of the gates to keep the trolls from discouraging the workers. Our sentries, or guards are the protective things we click to keep our privacy.

Do not publish your followers. Encourage those women on your blogroll to put only a minimum amount of personal information on their public profile. Do not publish your name. Use a name like, "Lady Jane" or something like that.

Do not show where you live. Be careful what you tell casual email friends whom you have never met. You would be surprised how much personal information we send out on emails. Your public blog still has to be regarded in the same way as your home: you make the rules and you allow only things to be seen that you deem necessary. You are teaching and influencing.

Protect yourself also by avoiding personal remarks such as, "My husband doesn't like the color blue, so I can't decorate my living room in blue," "I am having trouble potty-training my daughter," "My oldest son talks back to me constantly," "I struggle with being over-weight," and so forth. Don't say, "My mother-in-law used to do such-and-such." Instead, say, "I knew an older woman who did such-and-such," and "For those of you who struggle with being overweight," or "some men do not like the color blue."

All the phrases that include yourself and your relatives can and will be used against you. These trolls act like they are in training for jobs at the National Inquirer, the way they twist any little thing is a slam against you. You can protect yourself by phrasing things really carefully. Before you print a sentence, imagine how a troll will interpret it and re-invent it later.

That brings me to my final point:

Do not indicate that anything is wrong.

On a public blog, you are the gracious host, and you must make your hospitality a pleasant experience for everyone. Sometimes, for my own amusement, I will let some ridiculous comment be known, but I will not announce anything on my blog about the trolls.

Yes, they are out there and they have done me great harm. I was so stunned to see what they did that I sat immobilized, unable to function at home, for several weeks. I contacted a lawyer but he did not know how to go about finding the person who was trolling me and who had established the hate-blogs and stolen my family photos and re-written my articles. They stole my blog name, my header, my format, everything.

That reminds me that you should change your header and back ground regularly. I change mine once a month. I always anticipate the first of every month with excitement because I get to change the color and the picture on the blog.

Once I started doing this, the trolls could not imitate me for very long. I would change my header and they would have to go and change their imitation blog. After awhile, they quit doing that, and eventually the hate blogs were not even active, although they are still online.

Do not announce the filthy doings of trolls. Just go on as if everything is okay. You make it okay by presenting a good front, and by putting your readers at ease. If you announce the things that trolls are doing to your blog, they all run over to read it, bringing more trolls with them. Just post whatever your heart desires and remember you are teaching trolls, too.

When a troll has posted something online about you, do not go tell all your friends and do not announce it on your blog. It just makes their blog more popular and gives more credence to it. The naive woman, the simple girl, who may be your friend, can read something and it goes into her immature mind and she thinks, "Oh, yes, there is something to that!" She may think that what the troll writes is true. Trolls are good at putting enough truth in print to make the rest of their vile claims believable.

Do report to blogger or wordpress:

These companies are making blog users sign user agreements, but we are not making them sign user agreements with us! We need to let them know that we require them to use us fairly, just as they require us to use their programs fairly. The trolls are disobeying the rules, not us. Don't expect blogger owners to do anything about it, but keep reporting. I take time out about twice a year to fill in their forms and report the offending hate-blogs. I have not been successful in having them removed, but I will keep sending in my request.

Consider gathering like minded people together to find a way to put a stop to vile trolling and posting. In Australia, the government has cracked down on them severely. One woman was put in prison when she was convicted of ruining the reputation of a prominent model by creating websites, blogs and posting vile things about her, in order to ruin her business. The defense claimed that the accused was within her rights to do it because the model was (and I've heard this before) "a public figure." She also claimed that her trolling was good for the model, since it made her even more famous. The judge did not agree.

It may be possible one day to gather friends who have been victims of this terrible trolling, to do something about it. It is not wrong to use the laws and the courts, which were created to "punish the wicked and reward the good," but trolls like to make us into hypocrites by pretending they are Christians and then accusing us of suing them.

It is not wrong for Christians to use the laws that they and their forefathers helped create for the protection of Christians. I think someday these trolls will pick on the wrong people, who have the money and the time to go after them. In the mean time, they think they can pick off the homemakers by discouraging them and making them quit. I think each homemaker ought to publish a new blog in addition to the one she has, so that for every one that a troll causes to be shut down, another one crops up.

Finally, the most effective way to handle a troll, a hate-blog, or a stolen profile, is not to tell anyone about it and not to give it any attention. If someone stumbles upon it and contacts you, just say, "That's not my blog. I didn't publish that blog. Its not one of mine." Don't show everyone the awful blogs that people are publishing about you. The best thing you can do is give trolls stone-cold silence. They can only exist if you give them fuel. The more you contact them or acknowledge them, the more fuel they get.

In the meantime, remember Nehemiah's prayer after Tobiah said that even a fox could break down their wall:

"Hear, O our God; for we are despised: and turn their reproach upon their own head, and give them for a prey in the land of captivity: and cover not their iniquity, and let not their sin be blotted out from before thee: for they have provoked thee to anger before the builders..."

Each time you get bad news or someone deals you a blow, just post something really good. That way, you'll collect a lot of good articles that you can one day put in a book. Once you have a book posted on the side of your blog, trolls will be a little less bold. Federal law prohibits anyone from ruining someone's business, and having a book for sale can be a business that will benefit you in more ways than one.


Hats off to Lady Lydia for guest posting on Far Above Rubies.

38 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for this, Lady Lydia. You have been of so much support to me through this horrible situation that I know is far from over.

    After lots of years loving my transparency, openness and personal take on blogging, I'm beginning to employ your tips and strategies. It's a completely different take than what I'm used to, but after all that's gone on, and all that I'm now aware of with what's happened to you and others, it's a must.

    I vacillate between where I'm at now-a vague profile, a private blog, to a vague profile and a very unpersonal public blog, to keeping everything hidden, to stopping the blog.

    However, I know my blog has been of help to some women, as the blogs of others (like yours) have helped and encouraged me..so I won't stop.

    If any of my regular readers wish to follow my now private blog, please email me and I will check out your blog and profile and accept based on that.

    Thank you Lady Lydia, thank you Jasmine for publishing this much necessary and Godly advice, and God Bless!

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  2. Lots to chew on... Thanks for the "heads up." I had no idea that trolls were real. Blessings, ~Lisa

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  3. Lisa, lot's to chew on. I didn't realize it either, but they exist.

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  4. Jenny, thank you!!!

    Andrea, I'm glad this article encouraged you. Keep strong.

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  5. Jasmine,
    You are so gracious to host guests on your blog. I think it is wondeful idea. Bloggers know how to keep blogging fresh and interesting.

    While I was re-reading my post (and finding more technical errors--oh well!--I came across the part where I urged bloggers not to act as if everything was alright. It reminded me of a tea party I once hosted. I was all dressed up and the tables were set and waiting for the guests. Someone phoned me and gave me an awful earful of cursing and condemning. Shaken, I hung up and then I had to bravely put on a smile for my guests when they came to the door. I couldn't ruin their tea party with such a bad report. Of course we want to expose these trolls but they do a fine job of exposing themselves for what they are. Sometimes it is only one person, pretending to be 20 people. They have no life without us. They feed off us. They never have any creative ideas of their own and they cannot write good blog posts or articles. The only creative thing they do is cause trouble. Be sure you teach this lesson to your children and make sure you don't raise a potential troll. Correct his/her attitudes of jealousy and superiority, with an eye on the future.

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  6. Ladies,

    I have more tips I can reveal privately. I dont want to publish any secrets that trolls can read. You can email me at ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net I often invite critics to email me but they never do. And in spite of the terrible attack online with fake blogs and stealing photographs of me, and the fear I lived in, not one single thing happened to me. No threatening phone calls or strange mail, no drive-by gawkers, no loss of friends. It was like it didnt happen. The only thing that really happened was the fear and the changes in me that prevented me from functioning. That was their purpose. Absolutely nothing changed. No loss of income, no loss of reputation in my area or even on the web. The trolls huddle in their own caves and talk amongst each other now, as they have nowhere to go. Most people are smart concerning trolls and do not allow their comments. So, trolls now have their own blogs where they mock Christians and Christian things. One blog has announced as its goal: "To take down Titus 2 wannabees and teachers.." They exist only to hunt down blogs that teach Titus 2. They do it from their places of work. THey are cheating their employers and their customers. I am happy to say that no one on my blogroll has articles about other people unless they are promoting them. These people become bored quickly and move on to the their next victims. They dont really have much of a cause, wheras the Titus 2 women have material for years and years to teach online.

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  7. Thanks so much Lady Lydia and Jasmine. Such excellent advice and encouragement here.

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  8. New to me too! Never even heard of such a thing! I already try to limit how much personal information I share, and even pictures and such of my family. I have a few of my children, but not many. Crazy that someone would want to go through all the work to do something like this!

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  9. If you post any photographs, even on your private blog, such as in Picassa or whatever, be sure to find a place on your pictures on your computer and click "don't share." The public can still get in to your photo sharing, even your personal photographs, as they are collected online. So be sure to unshare.

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  10. Lydia, I'm honored that you would be my guest. I have admired your writing for a very long time.

    Thank you so much for encouraging my friends and readers.

    Ladies, Lady Lydia has given you permission to seek her out privately. She listed her email above.

    Blessings,

    Jasmine

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  11. As someone who was recently attacked, (if you read my blog posts)I agree with most everything you said. However, I felt the need to tell people that rude comments from "ME" were not really me and i was, in no way, using an obscene, photo shopped profile picture to comment on their blog. (People don't know me well enough to assume this)

    God also led me to offer my impostor the message of grace and salvation. What he/she did was deplorable, but they desperately need Christ too.

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  12. Its a great thing to teach the gospel to the haters and the trolls. In Chris Klicka's book about homeschooling, he urged parents to teach all social workers, truancy officers, and any school personnel, the gospel. They wont be coming around your home so much or phoning as much if they know they will have to listen to it, but they also are somewhat influenced by it.

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  13. Yes, "trolls" are real. If you think your blog isn't controversial, or political, enough to be attacked, don't be naive. The trolls that attack homemaker's blogs are looking for religious people.
    I am so glad I took my family off my blog. I had seen the advice about being anonymous on your blog, about not posting your children's pictures or names, and I thought that did not apply to me. I thought the stories about stolen photographs and such were rare things that would never happen to little ol' me. I was such a small fish in the blogging world.
    I thought that I could blog about my family life as a good testimony and example for others to see. I wanted to use my real name so that people knew I was a real person, that I was honest. I thought that, after all, I had nothing to hide, that no one could ever take anything I said and skew it.
    Boy was I wrong! And after I was attacked and my family photos stolen, and my reputation smeared, I started seeing this happen to other bloggers, too. It does happen.
    Now my advice is do not use your real name; do not show photos of your children; don't even reveal how many children you have; don't talk about where your husband works, etc. God gave you a wonderful family, yes, but we aren't required to use them as fodder for the internet trolls just to teach others about titus 2.
    I also advise that people use all the privacy settings they can on facebook, as photos and information can be stolen from there, as well.
    If you think you can handle any attack, let me tell you, you've never felt the surge of "mother bear" until you have seen your children's photos on a stranger's website.
    My "troll" was kind enough to contact me and point the way to what they were doing. I am so glad I never responded in any way to them, or let them know I was even aware of their message. Everything I posted about from that point on, everything I did with my blog, was watched by these people, and talked about by these people, but I in no way addressed them or even acted like anything had happened. It took me a long time to get over it, and I forced myself to post through that time, making sure everything looked like it was normal. I prayed and prayed for them, and now I feel so sorry for these people, because if they can't get an argument out of you, they start to attack the scriptures and God, and boy, are they in BIG trouble with the Man Upstairs!

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  14. Trolls are not only online but in the "real world" too. ...As we have found out so many times...

    This post was an encouragement to me, thanks. The tips, slightly modified, are applicable towards "real life" gossips and scorners, too.

    Blessings in Messiah,
    KallyLyn

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  15. P.S. I just visited Lady Lydia's blog. Jasmine, I can see why you like her so much! I've added her to my blog reading!

    Thank you, Lydia for such an encouraging post and Jasmine, for inviting her!

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  16. excellent post! thank you!

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  17. It also helps protect your privacy if you do not announce on your blog where you are going or going or when you will be away on holiday or where. That would be something to put on your private blog. If you do go away, you can pre-program your blog posts to publish at certain times automatically. You can get some posts ready and they will go on each day that you indicate. It really confuses trolls, who think you have insomnia when they see that a post went up at 3 a.m. I read one hate blog that said I was a night owl because so many of my posts stated that they were published at 4 a.m. I often program my dashboard to put them up at that time so they will be there when the first viewer wakes up in the east. It is best that you dont tell the world everything that you do. It is not that you have anything to hide. You just need to protect your privacy.

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  18. I have run into Nehemiah so often on blogs recently. Posted a couple myself before realizing how wide spread the subject has been. Tobiah needs to be ignored, rebuilding needs to continue and we need to heed His message daily in our lives.

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  19. Anonymous: You make a good point in that the trolls end up actually attacking God. Even now, in their dark place which I call "The Company of Fools" they are running down God and His Word. If you ignore them, they will turn on each other.

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  20. brightlight: You are right. In real life, trolls have always been with us. Think back to the first time someone said something to discourage you, or someone took your idea or took something of yours, or spread something about you. Think also of visits you may have had where people may have just been looking for something to criticise. I was warned years ago by my own mother in law not to allow a certain woman to get too familiar with me. Though she was in the church, my mil told me she was up to no good and did a lot of talking. I thought my mil was just being too judgemental and that she just didnt understand people the way I did. I then allowed my self to get tangled in that woman's web and it took me years to figure out that a lot of the hostility toward me was created by her talk. She would take me out to tea and I would think, "WHat a nice friend!" but everything discussed at tea soon got back to me. When I finally learned the truth I treated her as a troll: not answering her invitations and not having anything to do with her, which is what my mil told me to do in the first place!!

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  21. Wow, I learned something today. When I started reading I had no idea what a troll was. I was going to start a blog but now I'm too afraid. Thank-you for the info.
    Linda

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  22. You definitely shared some good thoughts on this topic.

    However, I think anyone who uses any public forum must know that nothing is completely safe or private, and that includes private blogs. Therefore, caution must always be a necessity.

    In other words, if you choose to blog, you must realize that there is a chance that a hacker might ruin your blog or virtual reputation. If one does not wish to take those chances, or are feeling overly paranoid about being "exposed," then they should not involve themselves with any type of public forum.

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  23. Lady Lydia,

    Thank you for sharing your kind advice with us blogging ladies. I wish that I had known about some of these tips when I first started my blogging experience.

    -An Ordinary Woman

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  24. Dear Anonymous, Lady Lydia's point is to be cautious while being an instrument of light.

    Linda, the article wasn't written to bring fear, but to help bloggers take precautions.

    Ordinary Woman, I wish I had known some of these tips, too. However, we know them now!!

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  25. You should not be afraid to start a blog. Just be careful what you reveal about yourself and your family. Even without a blog, there are trolls around, asking questions, possibly using it against you, creating gossip. We just have to be discerning about what we tell people.. Our parents, born in the 20's and 30's were very tight-lipped about personal things, never revealing how much their furniture cost them, how much they paid for a car, how much money they maid, how much their debt was, how much they weighed, how old they were, or family problems. Previous generations knew the dangers of being too open, and they would often say, "none of your business." Even without blogging, we have to learn not to naively tell people things about where we are going, what our husbands are doing, etc. We need to learn privacy, discretion, discernment, etc. Our parents didnt allow us to tell things in school about whether or not our father had a job, or our mother was pregnant. This was all private. So, a blog is just the same as real life. You have to be careful what you say, just as you do in real life.

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  26. Thank you, thank you. I had no idea this was even an issue. I am completely new to blogging. I will go immediately to my blog and remove any personal information and photos.

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  27. Lady Lydia, thank you so much for this article. The trolls are so hateful and no matter what is said, they find fault with it. I am so glad that I never posted any personal pictures of my family or gave too many details about them on my blog. Funny, just in the past couple of weeks I had been thinking about relaxing a bit about that and posting some pictures of us. Then the trolls hit and now I'm positive that I will *not* be posting those pictures! Honestly, they do need to get a life!

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  28. I've just recently decided to blog again and looked forward to the fun parts but dreaded the trolls. I've seen what they've done to you because I've searched for your blog in the past and run up on their nasty one. Too bad they have nothing else to do...

    But anyway, I said that to say this...after reading this post I've decided to put a few hedges around my own newly opened blog, maybe that will deter some of the maliciousness I've suffered in the past.

    Mrs. T

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  29. While blogs are daily or weekly logs sharing parts of our lives, we have to revert to the old ways where people did less complaining and did not air their family dirty laundry. To tell a sordid story of how sinful you, or one of your family was before they repented, is to invite a visit into your past life that the troll will not let you forget. He or she will broadcast it and make it seem like that is the way you still are. Also its important to edify others on your blog, and if you post the downside of your life, it not only drags others down, it feeds the trolls. Our forefathers, even those in the wars, did not describe things in detail that would lead the mind away from what is good and lovely.

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  30. Love, love reading your posts. So sad about the wickedness of
    others. I have just been let down by a friend of 30 yrs, and yes I
    was warned about her, but I knew best. I'm not a young woman
    anymore ( young at heart) and what a lesson to learn at my age .
    The sense of betrayal is immense. So the damage an annonymous
    person can do is incalculable.

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  31. Yes, the best advise is simply to ignore them, and do not engage them in any way. They'll never get a foothold and will eventually find another person to bother. I delete anything ugly - no contact, no argument. If they go somewhere else to mock you, that's their business. They are just trying to get your goat, and it's no fun(for them) if it's all one sided. They'll eventually tire of their activities. Rise above it, and keep on doing what you love. Spread(reflect) God's joy and happiness and it will come back to you.

    ~Alexandra

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  32. Kelley Folsom SoftbreezeMarch 20, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    I greatly appreciate your advice in this article. I had a blog at one time, and my purpose of doing the blog was to try to connect with other people of my native tribe, and to engage in our cultural traditions. I never expected anyone outside of my tribe to really pay much attention to it. What ended up happening was quite different, however. Most of the people reading my blog ended up not being from my tribe, but from the mainstream population. So, because they didn't have a cultural understanding of what my intent was in what I was writing, alot of it was misunderstood, or misinterpreted, or taken personally, for whatever reason. Some, of these people I worked with, some of them had children that attended the same daycare as my daughter, and some of them just live in the same town I live in. But, in any case, alot of people seemed to think I was doing my blogging in order to become "known", or to have some kind of "social status", which, if they understood my culture, would've known this was not the case. But, they didn't, so there was alot of jealousy and comopetitiveness that started to take place, because of the level of my readership. Then, people began reacting to me in person, rather than responding to the things I was writing online. Rather than asking questions about where I was coming from using the forum that I had originally posted my articles and items, these reactions were being invaded into my personal, everyday life. People were intimidating me, and making insulting and offensive comments about the subject matter that I was addressing in my writing. The mistake I made is I reacted to it, instead of ignoring it. This only perpetuated a negative exchange back and forth, which I now regret. I had every right to be offended and feel invaded, but my reactions only reinforced the problem, and made alot of people think I'm just prejudiced and hateful, which I'm not. I was just really hurt and confused and not understanding why anybody cared that much about my opinions or writings. I also learned throughout this process that the only people who really have freedom of speech are the people in the majority. I guess I need to take your advice and just ignore it. I can't help it if people react to my opinions. And I shouldn't let the behaviours of some people color my perceptive of an entire group of people. Hard lesson learned, I guess.

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  33. Thank you for this post. I just found this via Lady Lydia's blog.

    I interact with friends on Facebook, but my profile is very sparse and has no information about where I live, personal interests, and so forth.

    I used to post online (blog comments and such) with my real name. I no longer do that. The pastor of a congregation I used to attend took great offense at a comment I posted on someone else's blog (the comment had no relation to him at all and was not offensive, he just happened to not like what I said). As a result, he tried to destroy my reputation locally within my denomination, and even tried to get my current pastor involved. Fortunately for me, this pastor's reputation for being disagreeable at times and attempting to destroy people is known, and so nothing happened. My own pastor told me that I might not be a bad idea to comment under a nome-de-plume, which I do know. I use the name of an ancestor several generations back.

    I don't blog myself, as I don't have the time.

    Laura

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  34. Thank you so much for making me a little wiser in my blogging.

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  35. This is also why we don't involve ourselves with Facebook or any other photo / information sharing social media site. All of our friends and family are on FB and we've been subsequently shunned from ever hearing about them and what they're doing because they refuse to communicate any other way. So be it. Truthfully, obviously, we were close to begin with and this just further illustrates the point that it's not worth it.

    I enjoy Lady Lydia's blog and this one and other's as well. I agree that making the blog less personal is the way to go.

    Put your trust in God alone.

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  36. Thank you so much for writing this! It's given me a lot to think about with my own blogging. I probably haven't been careful enough with guarding my personal information.

    Very encouraging and very helpful!

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